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i do it because i have no choice
i do it because i have no free will
i do it because i'm a failure
i do it because my art is a failure
i do it because it's a temporary distraction from the inevitable
i do it because it might help but probably won't
i do it because i'm afraid of what'll happen if i don't
i do it because i don't want to disappoint people
i do it because my parents and teachers told me that i'd accomplish something great one day and i'm still waiting
i do it because i tried it once and i'm still chasing that first high
i do it because i want to but i don't know why
i do it because people give me compliments and i'm afraid of what'll happen when those compliments stop
i do it just because
i do it because i do it
i do it because i need money
i do it because i have nothing better to do
i do it because i have no reason to live
i do it because i'm sick
i do it because i'm wrong
i do it because i'm selfish and won't get a real job
i do it because i'm disabled
i do it because i'm on a disability pension that allows me to do it in the first place
i do it because i'm afraid of what'll happen if my disability pension stops
i do it because of peer pressure
i do it because of fear
i do it because of trauma
i do it because of sadness
i do it because i'm bored
i do it because i don't know what else to do
i do it because i don't know
i do it because sometimes i enjoy it
i do it because no one else is going to do it
i do it because i hate art
i do it because i hate artists and think they need to be taken down a peg
i do it because i like the attention until i get it
i do it because i think that pessimism nihilism depression sadness and negativity are useful tools that shouldn't be shunned like they are
i do it because when i see art that features pessimism nihilism depression sadness and negativity i feel seen i feel real i feel valid
i do it because i hate being seen
i do it because i hate being real
i do it because i hate being valid
i do it because i think the concepts of being seen being real and being valid are harmful appeals to authenticity visibility and authority
i do it because i think that to be queer is to be inherently unseen unreal and invalid
i do it because i hate optimism
i do it because i hate icons
i do it because i hate hero worship and great men/women/people of history
i do it because i want to kill myself
i do it because "i am not even alive enough to know how to kill myself"
i do it because this poem is just a rip off of bob flanagan
i do it because i used to want to change the world
i do it because i hate everyone and everything including myself especially myself
i do it because everything is pointless and you all probably hate this poem and me anyway
i do it because i'm afraid that i might like it
i do it because it's almost over so i may as well finish it
i do it because i'm afraid of what'll happen if i don't
i do it because i'm afraid
i do it because i have no control over my life
i do it because it doesn't matter
i do it because nothing matters
i do it because i was forced into existence
i do it because i want to feel like i matter
i do it because i like to feel like i matter
i do it because i might enjoy it
i do it because i want to feel like i have control over my life
i do it because i want to feel important
i do it because i want to feel real
i do it because i want to help
i do it because i'm a hack
i do it because "this violence is a calm that disturbs you"
i do it because i can't stand new age pagan bullshit
i do it because i think artists are dictators
i do it because i don't know any better
i do it because i'm hypomanic and i feel compelled to make art when i'm like that
i do it because i can't get a real job
i do it because this is a real job
i do it because since this is a real job it means that all of our art will just be sublimated to capital and that there is nothing liberating to be found through having a job
i do it because none of you care about this anyway
i do it because you have no idea how hard this is for me
i do it because the worst thing you can do is think you know how hard this is for me
i do it because i can't handle people looking at me
i do it because i can't handle the thought of someone judging me
i do it because i can't handle anything
i do it because i just want to die so fucking badly but i can't
i do it because "it's not worth the bother of killing yourself since you always kill yourself too late"
i do it because i want to be left alone
i do it because i hate the attention
i do it because i hate being alone
i do it because i like the attention
i do it because i feel bad regardless of whether i'm alone or around other people
i do it because i wish i didn't exist
i do it because i wish none of you existed
i do it because i'm sick of receiving patronising pride merchandise from my well meaning family
i do it because i'm a queer who hates astrology
i do it because i like the idea of sex more than the act itself
i do it because i like the idea of making art more than the act itself
i do it because i see creativity as a curse rather than a gift
i do it because i see life as a curse rather than a gift
i do it because i wish i wasn't creative
i do it because i wish i wasn't created
i do it because i want to commit suicide but i can't
i do it because art is just suicide by other means
i do it because i want to make my suffering worth it
i do it because i want you all to suffer with me
i do it because i want you all to understand my suffering
i do it because you can't understand my suffering
i do it because i like to make people uncomfortable
i do it because i only feel alive when i provoke people
i do it because i don't know why i do it